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Regarding & pairings
Jun. 8th, 2023 05:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
olentowritesWhat's the deal with the & pairings?
This has caused some confusion, and I apologize for that. While "&" type pairings are not commonly used on AO3 to include relationships with a sexual element, they are used in this tagset, specifically, for that purpose.
The tagset is meant to be used only for matching. The tags are not necessarily something you would use for the fic itself. Consider a relationship tag like "Vivianne Westwood/Attila the Hun (historical RPF) (virgin Attila)" - it's written that way only for matching purposes, you wouldn't use it like that when it's time to post the fic to AO3.
Likewise, &-pairings are used only for matching people who want to request and/or offer aromantic or platonic pairings that are still sexual in nature. That's the only function they have.
I am not going to change the rules at this point, not when so many tags have already been nominated, and when so many people have expressed genuine joy for this option. You can still post the finished fic as a /-pairing to AO3: you don't have to go against the general conventions. Again, this way of tagging is only for matching purposes.
If someone doesn't want to request or offer a &-pairing, or finds them too confusing, they can stick to the more traditional /-pairing instead.
(People have suggested that one way to solve this would be using freeforms to indicate aromantic/platonic pairings. The problem is that it would be just one freeform out of ten, and since you only need to match on one single freeform, it wouldn't necessarily be that one. And that wouldn't be binding in any way.)
***
Should I nominate a nonconsensual relationship as a & pairing?
Well. I admit that this is a tricky question. Since I've allowed non-romantic pairings to be tagged with &, logic dictates that nonconsensual pairings should use the same. But as I said previously, the general convention is to use /-pairings, even when the sexual content is nonconsensual, and this might be a more familiar way to tag them for most people. (Though I'd like to point out that, unfortunately, it's quite possible for there to be nonconsensual sex in a romantic relationship. But I digress.)
My advice would be just to use your best judgment in this case.
People have also expressed concerns that people who want a consensual, aromantic pairing would get matched with someone who wants just to write noncon, or vice versa. But this is where the freeforms come in handy! There are plenty of freeforms in the tagset, quite a lot of noncon-related too: I encourage people to use them to actively "game" their offers and requests. That's what they are there for! (Also, in my experience, those of us who want to request noncon are usually pretty damn clear about it. 😅)
Besides, obviously everyone should respect the DNWs of their recipient. If someone has "rape/noncon" in their DNWs, then you are not going to write that. Period.
***
What about unrequited romantic feelings? Or a relationship where A pines for B who has feelings for C instead? How do I nominate those?
Respectfully, these kind of relationship dynamics are not really the point of this particular exchange. But if pressed, I would say to tag them as /-pairings, because romantic feelings are still the underlying motivation for these ships, even if they are unrequited.
This has caused some confusion, and I apologize for that. While "&" type pairings are not commonly used on AO3 to include relationships with a sexual element, they are used in this tagset, specifically, for that purpose.
The tagset is meant to be used only for matching. The tags are not necessarily something you would use for the fic itself. Consider a relationship tag like "Vivianne Westwood/Attila the Hun (historical RPF) (virgin Attila)" - it's written that way only for matching purposes, you wouldn't use it like that when it's time to post the fic to AO3.
Likewise, &-pairings are used only for matching people who want to request and/or offer aromantic or platonic pairings that are still sexual in nature. That's the only function they have.
I am not going to change the rules at this point, not when so many tags have already been nominated, and when so many people have expressed genuine joy for this option. You can still post the finished fic as a /-pairing to AO3: you don't have to go against the general conventions. Again, this way of tagging is only for matching purposes.
If someone doesn't want to request or offer a &-pairing, or finds them too confusing, they can stick to the more traditional /-pairing instead.
(People have suggested that one way to solve this would be using freeforms to indicate aromantic/platonic pairings. The problem is that it would be just one freeform out of ten, and since you only need to match on one single freeform, it wouldn't necessarily be that one. And that wouldn't be binding in any way.)
***
Should I nominate a nonconsensual relationship as a & pairing?
Well. I admit that this is a tricky question. Since I've allowed non-romantic pairings to be tagged with &, logic dictates that nonconsensual pairings should use the same. But as I said previously, the general convention is to use /-pairings, even when the sexual content is nonconsensual, and this might be a more familiar way to tag them for most people. (Though I'd like to point out that, unfortunately, it's quite possible for there to be nonconsensual sex in a romantic relationship. But I digress.)
My advice would be just to use your best judgment in this case.
People have also expressed concerns that people who want a consensual, aromantic pairing would get matched with someone who wants just to write noncon, or vice versa. But this is where the freeforms come in handy! There are plenty of freeforms in the tagset, quite a lot of noncon-related too: I encourage people to use them to actively "game" their offers and requests. That's what they are there for! (Also, in my experience, those of us who want to request noncon are usually pretty damn clear about it. 😅)
Besides, obviously everyone should respect the DNWs of their recipient. If someone has "rape/noncon" in their DNWs, then you are not going to write that. Period.
***
What about unrequited romantic feelings? Or a relationship where A pines for B who has feelings for C instead? How do I nominate those?
Respectfully, these kind of relationship dynamics are not really the point of this particular exchange. But if pressed, I would say to tag them as /-pairings, because romantic feelings are still the underlying motivation for these ships, even if they are unrequited.
